From Mad in the Netherlands: The core of safe attachment is that a child develops confidence that is taken care of in times of stress and emotional distress. No single parent is perfect, we all sometimes miss signals and sometimes respond incorrectly. That is not a problem when the foundation of basic trust is present. Sometimes, however, a child’s trust in the parents is damaged by the fact that they cannot (cannot) offer what the child needs. Think of parents who themselves experience a lot of stress or are full of mourning and therefore do not always manage to be the parents present they want to be,or to parents who have not learned how best to respond to their child’s needs due to shortcomings in their childhood,or to more serious matters such as aggression, addiction or manipulative behavior of the parent(s). We then speak of unsafe adhesion. About forty percent of people are dealing with this. Sometimes the word ‘unsafe’ gives resistance when there are parents who are short-fated but nevertheless loving. Perhaps it will help to replace the words ‘unsafely attached’ for ‘not fully well attached’ in order to be open to the information provided in this quarterly theme.
Read the full article here.
